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How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?

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I'm better than you.

Media Platforms Design Team
About the jokester:

Media Platforms Design Team
Ever heard of a land surfer? Neither had we, until Abigail Spencer claimed to be one. The 29-year-old Florida native explains: "I started surfing when I was three. My mom kind of put the kibosh on that, so my dad put me in dance class — land surfing, as he called it." Land surfing quickly fomented a love for performing, and after a casting director spotted a 17-year-old Spencer in the crowd of Live with Regis & Kathie Lee, she ended up with her first acting gig on All My Children. Since then Spencer has appeared in various independent films and TV shows, including Mad Men, on which she played one of the more memorable of Don Draper's conquests. Next you can catch her in Cowboys & Aliens (out July 29), a sci-fi western about an amnesiac cowboy (Daniel Craig) in search of answers — and the woman (Spencer) he finds a mysterious picture of in his hat. "He doesn't know who she is, yet he feels this longing," Spencer says. Which seems believable. —Mark Mikin
*Esquire cannot guarantee that these jokes will be funny to everyone.
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