If you're seeing Barbie and Oppenheimer on the same day, that's already five hours of story. Most likely, you're also having drinks with friends in between showings, grabbing a bite of real food (no shade to popcorn!), and maybe even fitting in a power nap. Barbenheimer plans need to be sorted by the hour, so time is of the essence.

Just like other recent films that were prime material for post-credits teases—such as Mission: Impossible—Dead Reckoning Part One and Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse—Barbie also resists the bug to set up a sequel and/or shared-universe plans, so you can get on with your busy day. Take it from us: not much occurs after the credits roll, except for another couple needle drops from Mark Ronson's amazing soundtrack. Still, that alone may be worth staying in your seat. We're talking about songs from Nicki Minaj, Ice Spice, PinkPantheress, Billie Eillish, Dua Lipa, Charli XCX, Lizzo, HAIM, Tame Impala, Sam Smith, and more. Damn!

welcome to the barbie-verse

I promise that if Barbie returns for a sequel, I'll let you know. If Mattel announces an Avengers-esque toy-movie universe where Barbie rides Hot Wheels and plays Uno with Polly Pocket? Again, I'll let you know. Immediately.

I'll write about the color of the Hot Wheels car, if it has cool decals, and if it does a big loop. I'll tell you which Uno cards Barbie has, if Polly Pocket is about to hit her with the dreaded Draw Four, and if Ken can even tell what the cards mean. I got this. So go home and get some rest, because seeing a double-feature like Barbenheimer will certainly push back your bedtime. I'm here for you, reader.

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