I have only a few lingering memories from the summer after college and, unfortunately, one of them is of Ben’s bong. Standing nearly two feet tall—impressive for its time—Ben’s bong was acrylic, tubular, and nearly always in use. It was also absolutely fucking disgusting: Once blue, Ben’s bong had turned the color of a junkyard tailpipe. We packed whatever weed we could get our hands on into the bowl and inhaled through swampy water speckled with week-old floaters.

That was 35 years ago and we didn’t know any better. Yet today, even with the growing normalization of cannabis use, even with buckets of information about bong best-practices, I still see many modern bubblers caked with mud-brown build-up. This is unfortunate, not only for reasons of aesthetics and self-presentation (a crusty bong on the coffee table raises reasonable questions about other things you might’ve let slide: Finances? Dental exams? Bed sheets?), but also for its impact on your health and on the smoking experience itself.

“I’m a daily bong cleaner,” CJ Christensen told me. “First thing in the morning, I’ll dump the water, swish around a little alcohol, and refill it with fresh, distilled water.” CJ, it should be noted, knows his way around a bong: “I moved to China when I was 19 years old to start making cannabis hardware,” he told me; today, nearly a decade later, he oversees R&D and production at Stündenglass, maker of a stunning, state-of-the-art, rotating gravity bong with serious supercollider vibes. CJ’s main reason for the daily cleaning is “flavor, first and foremost.” How do brown bong walls affect flavor? “The smoke deposits oils into the water, and as the water evaporates, it becomes thick with the oils and resin which end up on the sidewalls,” he says, not bothering to mention the ash, bits of weed, and lord knows what else that routinely end up in the bong-water bog. “If I’m smoking cannabis with a subtle lemon flavor, a dirty environment is going to tamp down on the lemon and make the flower taste smoky, ashy.”

Lurking in Your Bong Water

But flavor, be it the nuanced taste of a Lemon Tree Kush or the gas-station-on-fire notes from a Motorbreath, may be the least of your concerns. While there are a distinct dearth of NIH-funded studies that focus on bong water, Dr. Stephanie Christenson, M.D., has serious concerns. Dirty, stagnant bong water can play host to bacteria that you do not want to party with, says Christenson, an associate professor at the University of California, San Francisco specializing in pulmonary care and airway diseases related to chronic exposures. Bacteria like streptococcus (which can cause strep throat), staphylococcus (staph infections), and E. coli (just ewww), not to mention fungus and black mildew.

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“Exposure to stagnant water is one of the first things we ask patients about,” says Christenson, noting that dirty bong water can present some of the same risks as the standing water found in your basement. “But with a bong,” she told me, “you’re taking these really deep inhalations, so if there are particulate or microbes, they’re actually being deposited deep into your airways, deeper than they would if you were smoking a joint.” I was mentally estimating the number of filthy-ass bong hits I’d taken in my life when Dr. Christenson added that the more times you smoke out of the same water, “the more chance these pathogens have to reproduce and spread into your body.” And if your weed happens to be moldy, which you may not even be able to see? Well, says the good doctor, “That’s even worse.” We could be talking pneumonia, strep throat, inflammation, among other buzz-kill respiratory conditions. (It doesn’t take long for bong water to turn into soup: Let your piece sit untended for a weekend, and you’ll notice a layer of bacteria-laden “biofilm” building on the water’s surface.)

Pro Cleaning Tips

Assuming words like “black mildew” and “E. coli” have grabbed your attention, let’s talk about how—and how often—to clean your water pipe. Many products will get the job done (from Formula 420, Orange Chronic, Randy’s, Grunge Off, among others), but the long-time puffers I spoke with (including CJ at Stündenglass) suggest simply using isopropyl alcohol and salt to clean your glass bong.

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Here’s the step-by-step: Remove any detachable pieces, like the bowl and downstem. Rinse out your bong with water, fill it halfway with isopropyl alcohol (91 or 99 percent is best), and pour in a bit of course salt, like Epsom or rock salt, which works as an abrasive. (With regular upkeep, you might not even need to use the salt). Place your palm over the bong’s mouth (consider using a glove or a dishtowel to protect your skin), shake it briskly for a minute or two. If your bong is still feculent (my new favorite word), repeat with fresh alcohol. Place the bowl into a small Ziploc bag with alcohol and salt, then shake it. Any remaining gunk should come off easily with a Q-tip. Rinse everything very thoroughly with water. At this point, CJ recommends filling your bong with distilled water “because it has fewer minerals that attract bacteria growth.” (If your bong is silicone or acrylic, don’t use the alcohol method as it can break down the material. Instead, use dish soap and warm water and a small bottle brush.)

The fastidious among us do this after every use, but here’s a commonsense compromise: Rinse out your bong with water after you use it and then, once a week, go whole-hog on the alcohol-plus-salt routine. If you’re too busy, too lazy, or too high to do get with that program, just dump your water after each use (as CJ says, “if you're leaving water in your bong, you're creating a Petri dish”) and quickly swab the mouth and bowl with an alcohol wipe; those wipes are also good to keep on hand if you’re passing the bong around. (The Stündenglass, it’s worth noting, has a brilliant contactless “delivery system.”)

The bottom line is this: Your bong is a direct glass thoroughfare to your lungs. So maybe, you know, treat it more like a piece of medical equipment and less like a Dollar Store ashtray.

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