Don't be that guy at your holiday party this year. Do not refer to "Santa" as if he's real. Especially more than once. Moreover, don't ask if he's around the house tonight. Or if you can meet him. Or if your significant other can sit on his lap. Don't break a jumbo candy cane over the coffee table and threaten to cut someone's throat with its shattered edge. Don't dance on said coffee table in slow motion like the worst scene in the worst David-O.-Russsell-knocking-off-Scorsese-Oscar-bait film that's out this year. (Or maybe Ryan Gosling was simply making fun of his own Blue Valentine, come to think of it.)

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