Media Platforms Design Team
As long as we've had the ability to make moving pictures, we've had the ability to make moving pictures of people having sex. And as long as we've had Star Wars, we've had Star Wars porn. Don't be surprised. Loneliness + an active imagination + cosplay is the perfect formula for adult films in space. Going all the way back to 1977, these Star Wars-influenced XXX movies have become some of the most popular on the adult film parody scene (a scene which spans everything from Smurfs to Lord of the Rings). Without getting lost in the 58,500,000 Google results for "Star Wars porn," I decided to go search all of the legitimately released adult films inspired by or directly parodying the franchise.
Star Babe (1977)
As far as I can tell, the first adult film influenced by Star Wars is the 1977 classic Star Babe. Rather than have anything to do with Jedi or Darth Vader, Star Babe is about three space women who fly to the planet Phallus to stop the bad guys from overthrowing Earth. They work at the United World Space Agency (which is kind of a contradictory title for an intergalactic organization, but whatever). So, it's not a direct Star Wars parody. But, from the fonts, to the scenes, to the music, it's certainly influenced by Star Wars. It's not exactly porn, either; it's more of a trashy comedy that dudes used as an excuse to look at hot space women. Regardless, it kicked off an entire genre that has been going strong for nearly 40 years. Here's the only review of it I could find via Robin Bougie at Cinemasewer:
"The monitors in their spaceship are just a few old tv sets, the walls are papered in tin foil, and creature FX on display consist of some douchebag in a dusty old gorilla suit. And don't even get me started on all the boring NASA stock footage. Still, you have to respect the brass labias on director Ann Perry for this blatant Star Wars cash-in, especially after you witness the Cantina scene. In Star Babe it takes place at "The Anus Bar", which is just a shitty run-down strip club populated by guys in ill-fitting rubber masks wearing bed sheets!"
Sex Wars (1985)
Five years after Empire Strikes Back came the first proper Star Wars porno. It's called Sex Wars. The title sucks, but the song rules. It's about two space heroes who are trying to rescue space Princess Orgasma from a space villain–your typical space sex plot. Here's a review of it on IMDB from movieman_kev:
Written by Arthur King who also wrote the awful "Ten Little Maidens", so I was pleasantly surprised that it didn't suck total ass even. Most of the humor works, but the constant flashing to mundane things during the sex scenes (volcano eruptions, space, etc..) But you know what? It's STILL better than those crappy Lucas-penned "Star Wars" prequels.
Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody (2012)
According to the film's own YouTube video, Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody had the highest budget for any X-rated parody film. Complete with all the character names, settings, and big scenes, it's a loving adult tribute to A New Hope. A special shout out to Dick Chibbles and Lexington Steele, who played Chewbacca and Darth Vader, respectively. In an unnecessarilly thorough review of the film, Comics Alliance's Chris Sims writes:
In the original films at least, Darth Vader is actually Princess Leia's father, which makes it pretty darned uncomfortable when the first ten minutes of this movie find him going right at her for a pretty vigorous interrogation about the whereabouts of the Rebel Alliance ... There actually is a scene later on involving Chewbacca and a couple of stormtroopers, and it is TERRIFYING ... Really it's just cosplayers having sex, which makes it less like a movie and more like being in a hotel room at Dragon*Con ... Still better than the prequels, though.
Star Whores (from Zack and Miri Make a Porno, 2012)
Star Wars parody pornos have become such a cultural phenomena that there's even a legitimate Hollywood movie starring big name actors playing characters who are making an adult Star Wars film. It's like adult film inception. Sure, the film that Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks are making doesn't exist, but the names–Hung Solo, R2-T-Bag, I-CUP–are far better than any of the real spoofs. Here's the New Yorker's dry way of describing, both this movie, and the relationship between porn and mainstream arts:
Porn, of course, depends on a parasitic relationship with the rest of the culture, high and low, and it is often close to spoof to begin with. (While taking a class on Melville forty years ago, I was disconcerted to see the title "Thar She Blows" on a local theatre marquee.) In Smith's movie, the characters compete to come up with a title for their movie based on that of a regular feature film—"American Booty" and "Lawrence of A'Labia" are about as good as it gets—and there is a brief fantasia in which actors dress up as characters from "Star Whores," but it's more a costume party than an orgy.
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