Four days have passed since The Woman in the Window was released on Netflix, which is about the amount of time you need to fully digest what happens on the screen over the course of the movie's 90-minute run time. Amy Adams leads the thriller, adapted from Daniel Mallory's allegedly ripped-off debut novel, but no dose of Amy Adams can save the atrocity that is The Woman in the Window.

To give the briefest of rundowns, Dr. Anna Fox (Adams) is the titular woman. She can't leave her house because she's scared of the outdoors. Instead, Anna stays inside, talks to her cat, mixes mood stabilizers with wine, and spies on her neighbors. ("How nice," I thought, "finally a movie about me!") What follows is a meandering film how Anna takes calls from her estranged husband, falls asleep watching psychological thrillers, makes friends with a teenaged boy from across the street, and has Julianne Moore over for a wine date during which she walks around and is like, "What a shitty house!" which is not just rude but completely untrue.

Oh, yeah, and then when rude Julianne Moore goes home, Anna sees her get murdered by her husband through the window.

Problem is, when Anna reports it, there is no body. And as Taylor Swift once said on the lukewarmly received album Evermore, no body no crime. Not only is Julianne Moore alive, but she's also suddenly played by Jennifer Jason Leigh. Whole other woman. The detectives, the downstairs tenant, the neighbors—hell, even little Ethan, the neighbor teen—all think she's bananagrams.

That sets up the big question in The Woman in the Window: Can Anna, who is crossfaded from here to Sunday, convince a cagey pair of detectives that this murder was something that actually happened and not a fantasy brought on by a boozy pill cocktail? Nothing makes sense until about the last third of the movie, when the ending takes a hit of nitrous and just explodes. Let's discuss it and try to unpack the three (maybe four? maybe five?) twists that happen.

Twist 1: The Dead Family

The first big reveal that sets the back half of the film into motion is that the estranged husband and daughter that Anna have been speaking to the entire film are actually dead. They died after Anna accidentally drove them off a cliff during a snowstorm, leaving her as the only survivor. Classic. In some ways, this isn't a major twist, as it explains her penchant for mixing Xanax with a ripe Malbec, but it sets up the rest of the film because it proves—or so you think!—that Anna isn't rooted in reality.

Twist 2: Julianne in the Wine Glass

Shortly after learning that her family is dead-dead, Anna decides that she's going to take one final super intense glass of wine, fill it full of crushed up pills, and then be done with this mess entirely. That is until she looks at her laptop and sees a photo that she took the day Julianne visited her. In the reflection of the wine glass she sees Julianne's face, making this the only time Anna has found something helpful in her wine glass. It's at this point that her tenant shows up to get his things and reveals a very important piece of information. He actually slept with Julianne Moore, who wasn't the neighbor's wife but his mistress. Then...

Twist 3: Don't Make Friends with Teenaged Boys

...Ethan appears out of no where and kills Anna's tenant. It's at this point that everything is revealed. Launching into a customary post-murder speech, Ethan reveals that Anna has been his target for a while. Not only did he kill the tenant, but he killed Julianne Moore, who was his birth mother. And now he's going to kill Anna because once you pop, you just can't stop.

Twist 4: The Hand Rake That Cured My Agoraphobia

Not a twist so much as its a head scratcher—as Anna tries to escape Ethan, he chases her to the roof and she has to decide whether to die or go outside. (Again, a moment I deeply relate to.) She faces her fear and goes out onto the roof where the two of them get into a battle of garden tools. Ethan takes a hand rake and jams it into Anna's face, but Anna, who did not come outside in her favorite cotton kaftan to simply die, fights back and pushes him through the glass ceiling, killing him. Then, nine months later, she moves out and is no longer afraid of going outside.

And that's The Woman in the Window! Its twist and turns are reminiscent of Rear Window and Gaslight with none of the watchability. But if you're having a heavy pour of red wine and want to feel as if you've mixed it with mood stabilizers without jeopardizing your health, feel free to turn this film on and sip away.

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